This One's for the Dads

When I was a senior in high school I remember getting a text message from my dad in the middle of English class. It read, "call me asap," so, naturally, I immediately left class to find out what was wrong. When he answered the phone he said, "Hey, so I found out what is wrong with your swing," and I responded, "Dad I went three for four last night," and he said, "Yeah, but on that one you could have hit it better." I do not think there is a better story to describe our relationship when it came to softball. He was always striving for perfection in my swing. I was always content with an above .500 night. Would I be the player I had been if he had not strived for that perfection? Absolutely not. 

After every game I would walk to my parents directly after the huddle. Good or bad. When it was good I was on top of the world and anxious to hear their thoughts. When it was bad I was at my most vulnerable and not particularly up for talking. I invested so much time in this sport, so when I failed it felt like a direct reflection on myself. It never failed that my dad would say, "Good job. I am proud of you." This small phrase was all I needed in the bad times. What he said is what I think parents today forget to say. It is what helped keep my time on the softball field about me. I wanted the success for myself, not him.   

I see it too often when I am working with little girls these days. After every pitch their eyes cut over to the chairs outside of the cage. The eagerness to please their parents is evident from the moment they walk in. Even just a simple comment like "come on" or "focus" deflates a girl who is so anxious to something that is so new to her.

The frustrating part of the learning curve is that these are young athletes. Their attention span is not developed yet. For parents, that can be very frustrating. They understand it, so they feel their daughters should be able to as well. It is one thing to understand, but a whole other to be able to feel and apply it to their body mechanics.

So what is the fine line? How do you motivate your daughter without crushing her? The answer is positivity. On the outside you see a tough girl with dirt on her cheeks, a skinned knee, and a whelp on her leg from practicing bringing her glove down to the right place, but on the inside is still your little girl trying her hardest to win you over. Trying her hardest to show you she can do it. Trying her hardest to prove to you as well as herself that she has what it takes. Don't cut her down by telling her she isn't trying. She is.